his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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