Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
