Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
