Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
