yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
