Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
