either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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