remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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