also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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