forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
