I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
