i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
