It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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