I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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