maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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