I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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