There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My balls are so social today.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
