she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
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My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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