dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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