Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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