Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize