do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
