i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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