At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize