yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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