So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
