Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
