She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
