So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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