the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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