where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
