worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
