he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
