Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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