it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
