Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
