So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
