I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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