that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
