If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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