What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
