I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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