Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
