Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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