He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
