Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
