looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
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i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
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Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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