his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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