So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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