Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
