Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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