Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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