I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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