wanna go halves on a baby?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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