I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
