Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize