OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize