drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
