also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
