I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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