Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
