How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
