We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
