Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
